Erika's life

Hey, guys! How are you? Japan is getting hotter and I'm very uncomfortable...
My summer vacation just started!! Yey! But I don't have any special plans... Ummm, I wanna go see fireworks, go to festivals and go swimming in the sea!
Anyway, I recieved materials about the adress of dorm in Amrica and my roomie. My roomie seems to be American and is majorying in international education. Although I recieved the adress, I don't feel I'll leave Japan. I feel just stay in Japan forever. I thought before one month, I'd feel expectation and anxiety. But not! Maybe the day before, I'll feel these things!?
Well, to go to America, I bought a new laptop!! This is the picture. It is easy to use and has good function. I can keep blog by this!

BTW, yesterday, I went to a summer festival with my club mates! This is the first time for me to go in this summer. I was happy to eat a lot of food at boothes. I ate Kakigouri, Yakisoba and Hashimaki! I love Japanese festivals very much because it makes me exciting and I like the atmosphere.
Since we haven't seen for a long time, we talked about many things, our future or marriage. When I see and talk with my club mates, I'm always encouraged and given a power.
Next time, I wanna set off fireworks in the park!

Before, I said my Canadian teacher will go back to Canada and for him, we had a party at class! We considered what pereset is good for him and decided to buy Jinbei and give a message card from everyone.
For the party, we prepared cream puff with mustard to play a game! We planed to play bingo and as one of prizes, we have to eat cream puff like Russian roulette!! That's crazy...
Before starting a party, we gave him an invitation to the party. That's fun to surprise someone! When he came into our class, we pull a cracker and yelled "We love Peter!"
And then, we gave him Jinbei. He wore it and looked so cute☆ After saying "Cherrs", we played bingo. Yey! Unfortunately, I couldn't get a prize but it was fun for me to spend with my classmates. For the last game, we did a scary game. That's guessing who is eating masturd cream puff and who is not. I did it twice but didn't eat mustard! Lucky! I used up all of fortunes then!?
Finally, he convyed a message to us. That was emotional and warm. I could feel how much he loved our class and appreciated us. I feel really happy that I could meet him. I learned many things from him, the importance of studying, the difficulty and interest of writing ,and knowing own culture and other cultures. I can't say everything but surely, I learned a lot from him. I'm so sad that we can't take his classes anymore. But I hope he can also enjoy his second life in Canada.
After going back to home, I checked e-mail and noticed that he sent us an e-mail. It was really really long mail but I didn't feel painful. I read his mail and I was more impressed with it, how he thinks about us, how he feels about his future, I knew his bottom of mind.
Thanks for everything, Peter! Good luck in Canada!
It's one of intersts in my life to meet new people and get something. Meeting new people makes me mature and develops myself.

Recently, I'm thinking about myself. When I heard talk from my friends who are trying hard or watch people who are trying to achieve for the goal, I consider about myself. Am I trying to do hard? Am I satisfied with the present condition? What is my clear goal? What does life mean? I think about a deep thing, what my life is. When I worry or suffer with something, I remember the word "Life is resource until death." When I remember the word, I feel relief and feel like I don't have to hurry. Good word, isn't it?
When I see other people, I'm often depressed by my character. I'm not goo at talking with new people and little-known freinds. I can't open my mind soon. I envy the people who can talk anything about thierselves funnily and become friendly with anyone. I want to change my character but that's difficult to change soon.
Sometimes I am said cool. I know why I'm cool because I'm not good at talking in a group and like seeing the group from the outside. Once I see a group from the outside, I can't join the group... I don't know why I become so. Something trauma?
And, I often regreted that I couldn't say my answer in the classes. I'm afraid of outstanding and think about if the answer is incorrect. No, I don't have to be afraid. I know but I can't. Maybe that's Japanese character? Maybe I don't have confident for everything.
Recently, I'm worrying about when I go to Amrica because you know, American are positive and tend to say anything they think. I have to say what I think in voice and insist my opinion.
Although I'm afraid a little, it's one of my challenges to have confident and develop myself.

I think my age is time to think about many things, friends, jobs, family and myself. Now, I have some things I want to do. First, succeed in my studying abroad so it means to get something not only English. Second, study hard about marketing in Amrica. Thirdly, after comeing to Japan, do the internship abroad or in Japan. I hope I can do that abroad.
Until high school, I was negative and thought "No, I can't" to many things but recently, I think I become little positive. I got to think, I lose my chances if I don't act! So I try to act if I come up with something.

Hola! Que hay!? This is Spanish greetings, Hello! and What's up?. Umm... I have to take a lot of tests, Spanish, business English and a lot a lot... So I'm a little bit busy and couldn't keep blogging. Besides, I didn't have interesting topics×D
After finishing tests, summer vacation will start!! Yey! But it means my Canadian teacher will go back soon... I'm so missing him. And, I'll go to Amrica so I can't enjoy summer vacation a lot. I have to prepare for leaving Japan!

This time, I want to write about Honne to Tatemae in Japanese mind. Honne means real intentions and Tatemae means intentions that are socially-tuned or controlled. This book mentions Japanese have two faces, social face and private face. When we go to school or work, we have Tatemae face. Even if we think it is wrong or can't agree with people, we don't say real intention because we don't want to disturb our harmony, "wa". In Japan, wa is very important and people are afraid of disturbing wa. We just try to behave politely and express ambiguously. Because of these situations, sometimes it causes to irritate westerners in business places because Japanese don't say real opinons or ideas.
Let me show you about Tatemae for Japanese girls. One day, a girl is wearing a new T-shirt which is not cool. Most girls think it's tasteless but if one girl say "Oh, it's very cool!", other girls also say "Cool!" with one voice. Actually, they don't think it's very cool but they try to tell a lie. This is kind of Honne and Tatemae.
If the girl likes her new T-shirt and ask you about theT-shirt, how do you reply?
Maybe this is occured in other countries but it's more used in Japan.
Tatemae is not only sayings but also behaviors. My Canadian teacher illustrated his experiences. When he first came to Japan, he was surprised at Japanese too much politeness. In restaurants, transportations and public institutions, Japanese are always polite and often say "Sorry", "Thank you". He even said " I thought I was killed by politeness", haha.
When I heard that, I remembered NZ fast-food shop. Actually, I was surprised at rudeness of staffs. They didn't smile and were like throwing our foods! That's really rude! But it's ordinary in other countries? Japan is too polite!? I don't know other countries than in NZ and Japan so I can't say which is right.
I think this definition of Honne and Tatemae is very difficult! In this book, it is mentioned Japanese can only undetstand the differences because they have grown up with dual concepts. I agree with this. I couldn't tell the clear difinition to my teacher. It's really difficult so don't mind if you can't understand.
Do you think you have Honne and Tatemae in your mind?
As for me, I think I have two faces like mask. I can show my real intention only to my family and my close friends.
How about you?